Happy Birthday Dorothy.  91 Today!!!  I am taken back to 11 years ago when we were all together to celebrate #80.  I still have the image of mom looking out into her backyard on Ontario Street and watching all of her grandchildren and great grandchildren talking, laughing and playing and running around the yard.  That made her birthday so very special.  Presents or other material items where nice to her however seeing her family together was most important and the best of all presents.  She enjoyed the fact that so many took time from their lives to travel to be there just for her.  That made her feel like a Princess.  Although we all knew she was not a Princess, she was and is our Queen. 

 

We sing Happy Birthday to you still today mom and know that candles were lit today for your birthday however not on a cake, instead in front of the Bless Virgin in church.

 

Happy Birthday mom and thank you for all of the memories and all of your love.

.

Today is one year and it is almost to the minute that the angels came to take mom home to her Lord and Savior.  In mom's finally weeks and days she endured more trauma than anyone should have to on this earth, especially in what some call a civilized society.  Life never was really fair to her however she always endured and made the best of what it threw at her.  From very humble beginnings, to a good family being born to her, to a devastating divorce, to her finally years of suffering and restriction of living a normal life, Dorothy always tried to put a happy spin on things.  She had her moments, just as we all do, however she always, yes always, thought of the other person.  She had her opinions and very seldom voiced them.  Life always seemed about someone else for her.  She was always more concerned about what something meant or how something effected or if something did harm to everyone else and not her.  It did not take a lot to make her happy. Seeing her family, talking with her brother, a piece of toast, a bowl of ice cream.  She so enjoyed the simplest things in life and never forgot that at one time she literally had nothing.  I do not believe she ever dreamed of having millions, enough to get by and maybe a little left to go visit her family was enough; she did not need Cadillac's or big luxury vehicles, a solid means of transportation was sufficient; She did not need fancy socialite champagne dining experiences, although she could fit in perfectly at any, a good fried chicken or pot roast dinner, or golden mush for breakfast was perfectly fitting with Dorothy.  She loved life and despised the evil that was and is lurking in the world, she never doubted her love for her Lord and respected the church as much and more than probably anything else in her life.  She never lost faith in believing that there is something better after time on this earth  although there was numerous times that people and her church seemed to abandoned her.  Dorothy always let the Lord workout situations and people in her life and she kept her faith in Mary the mother of Jesus who gave her inspiration that is not available here on earth.  She always seemed truly touched or taken in with the consecration in Holy Mass.  This was a most meaningful event in her life and when attending Mass became inaccessible,  she fretted about not being able to experience the Lord through communion.  It took a lot of convincing that although Mass is the open expression of the Lord's celebration, it is really and mainly a personal event that can take place where ever one is and does not have to happen in a church, a Cathedral or any building at all, as long as it happens in her heart and mind.  I believe from witnessing Dorothy's final weeks and days, she truly understood that the Lord was right next to her all along and she talked with him probably constantly. 

Today is one year and there has not been one day gone by that I have not at least once thought   "oh I need to call mom to tell her about..." or thought "Wow mom would enjoy this..." or "wouldn't mom appreciate this..." or just thought how much I missed her smile, her bright eyes, her little voice in the morning saying "Good Morning..."  I now truly understand what my children have known and been missing for the last 21 years.  You truly cannot understand until you loose what you can never have, hold, hear or see again what your mother truly means.  I understand the loss of my wife; that was undeniably difficult and presented a feeling of total isolation in my life.  However when you have the love of someone and the respect and the understanding of that person for over 60 years,  and they leave this world, there is a void that can never be filled.  I am more fortunate than many to have the love of a very fine woman at my side and a strong family that appreciates what they have and what they have derived from their grandmother.  These make it easier to cover that gap that exist without mom.  I pray my children forgive me for not fully understanding this gap that existed in their lives however, I do not believe that anyone can fully appreciate that emptiness until they experience that feeling personally themselves.  Then you do know what a void there is in a persons life without good ole mom. 

To you, my good ole mom, I wish you rest and the happiness you so deserve,  please give our love and thoughts to all you are with now.  Miss you mom, love you mom...

Dorothy and Brother Larry.

Dorothy with Rick and his family.

One Year Anniversary--We miss you mom...

Dorothy and Zoi--Christmas 2005

Dorothy and her brother Larry...

Today in Atchison, Kansas, mom's brother, uncle Larry will be officially remembered for his life here on earth.  Larry rejoined the rest of his generation on Saturday, January 4, 2014 and was greeted, I am most certain, with great anticipation and rejoicing in heaven.  I know that mom made most certain to be in line with all of her family, some members I have only heard of and were gone long before I was ever brought into this world.  This generation was one of great accomplishment and determination that we all should look to for inspiration.  Larry, who is memorialized today, never looked for the easy road, worked until he was 70, and did unthinkable things to get the job done in his employment and life.   I remember hearing the story where, I believe it was Christmas Eve however I am not certain ,when the radio station had a problem and being their chief engineer, he climbed an icy tower in the snow to reattach a cable or wires to return the station to operations.  His climb naturally was a success.  Larry lived his life with that same determination and resolve, both in his career and his family.  Helen was no different with her instinct for getting the job done.  She worked many and sometimes unusual hours including holiday's in her employment with the school district and the hospital.  Her most unusual feat, I felt,  was when the family was invited to her house for a birthday celebration and we all discovered that she had built a concrete block wall on her back porch so she could sit without the neighbors always being able to see her there. She did a fine job with the blocks all lining up and the mortar lines near perfect.  Walter and I just sat there and laughed with admiration for her determination and diligence in doing such a fine job.  Mom, dear Dorothy, after living a life of a mother, staying home as so many mothers did in the 50's and 60's was forced back into the working world when dad divorced her and also me.   Mom did what any fine Winegardner would do, she went out and found employment.   After almost 25 years of being a stay at home mother/housewife, she was again gainfully employed and was as competent as any despite her lacking of skills that she would eventually need.  She study at home to learn shorthand and refreshed her typing skills from high school and became a "cannot do without" member of the engineering team at Allis-Chalmers Gleaner division in Independence.   She not only was able to get along with the old witch whose department she was joining; a lady who considered everyone a threat and that no one could please her; she and this lady actually became friends and very close workers, and someone who after her retirement mom would often visit in off hours.  Something no one at the plant ever thought could happen.  Mom survived and lived a pretty fair life until her final years.  However that is a story for another time.  Then there was the baby, Walter, who made his life harder than it needed to be, [that might be where I get it from, probably so, since I more often than not thought of him as a father] both worked like a mule and never understood what it meant to not provide for your family or shuffle it off onto someone else.  He worked numerous jobs and sometimes two or three at a time.  As a craftsman, he was always his own worst critic, with only perfection making him happy.  And his work was perfection.  He believed that a mitered wood joint was only meant to be done one way.  It should be invisible to the naked eye.  Only the grain of the wood would show that his inside and outside corners along with his junctions were not one piece of wood when joined together.  His ability to perform almost any construction project, be it working with wood, re-plumbing a kitchen or adding new lighting or outlets or wiring an entire room to painting and staining, Walter was a perfectionist at it all.  What made his abilities most attractive, to me,  was he was completely self taught.  He could see something, read a book about it if necessary, and then do it. 

I give you this little insight into Larry, Helen, Dorothy and Walter today, on the day of Larry's funeral services to emphasize just what we have lost and will hopefully regain someday in the very near future.  Their generation was not a generation looking for handouts.  They were a generation that simply said:  "Give me a chance! Let me show you what I can do."  I know these four are all together again.  Maybe even sleeping in one bed as they did as children however this time just to be close, no need to stay warm now, they will eternally be warm, and loving and will forever be in my mind.  They will forever live in the hearts of all of us that knew them.  I feel certain that Phil and David will pay beautiful tributes to their father today.  Their mother will smile with great pride as each recite their words.  Their grandmothers, Phoebe and Mable will also being showing such pride.  However it is their responsibility and that of  their cousins to educate their/our offspring and their/our grand offspring in the truly great linage we all descend from.  I hope that I can reach this objective with whatever time left that God has planned for me.  However, for today is Larry's last most special day here on earth.  So once again, I recite:  "Eternal rest grant unto him O Lord, and may his soul and the souls of all of the faithful departed, rest in peace.  Amen."  Thanks for the memories Larry, you and Barbara deserve the rest that lies ahead.  Enjoy your siblings and all of your family and friends that are with you in eternal peace. 

And yes, a private request:  Please give my love to mom... 

4 months now have past.

Yesterday marked 4 months since mom left us for her eternal rest.  This past month has been probably the hardest for me as Bev and I celebrated our 20th anniversary in Europe.  It was our travels that always brought mom into our minds almost constantly.  We have seen so many things and places that we always wished there had been a way for mom to also had been with us as we knew how much she appreciated the history and beauty of the places we visited.  This past trip was one filled with visits to so many churches, cathedral's and basilica's  which would have just overwhelm mom with their beauty and unique architectures.  If she could have attended Holy Mass in The Cathedral Notre Dame de Paris would most definitely had been a earth moving experience for her. Or to have been able to hold the hand of the Black Madonna in Montserrat  and prayed would have left mom totally spent for the rest of the day let alone the trip up to and back from the monastery of Montserrat.  Mom always enjoyed hearing about these beautiful places and the rich history that exist in them.  She was so appreciative that Bev and I traveled and saw these sites and then shared them with her even though she could not have been there herself.   And now not to have her to share these moments with have left me with a major void.  After returning home came Thanksgiving which again brought about the reality that we will not be sharing this event with her as well or the upcoming holidays.  After Carol's passing I thought I understood what emptiness really meant and I was truly an empty being just trying to survive in life.  I thought I understood what I needed to do to continue without someone so close to me and who I loved so dearly.  However mom was there, even through the miles, to always listen and to softly give moral support.  Now, although I still have Bev, that emptiness has once again set in.  And this time has also taken Bev along with me.  We both have so many times wanted to pick up the phone and call mom to tell her something.  We so many times in Europe said "oh mom would have enjoyed this." or "Would mom like this!" and of course then we would realize that we cannot longer even tell her about it. Even in taking pictures of our trip we so often thought "we cannot wait to show mom this."  And then again reality would hit us and bring the moment to a somewhat less enjoyable memory.  There are so many things that we, all, just took for granted about mom being here.  Her smile, sharing moments of the grandchildren, great grandchildren with her or things that were happening in the world, or just talking with her and seeing how she was doing and of course her eyes sparking with her beautiful smile.

 

Thanksgiving this year, I was especially thankful for having mom for so very long.  I will never understand how my children survived without theirs.  I will never understand how I will survive without my mother now.  For 60+ years she was always there.  And for that I will be eternally thankful, Thank you dear Lord for my beautiful mother and the time I was allowed to be with her. 

Today marks 3 months since mom's leaving this world.  I have every confidence that she is resting and doing so very well.  This past Saturday 2 little kittens about 4-5 weeks old appeared in our back yard.  One is a solid black playful and very healthy little female, while the other, a male,  had a bit of white on it's feet and ears and around it's chest and mouth and was not doing so well.  On Monday morning Bev was waiting at the vet's office when they arrived and the male it was determined was suffering from a lack of food and  feline flu.  Bev nursed this little one all week and then this morning just about the time mom passed 3 months ago it also left this world.  Coincidence or not, I think mom finally got her little kitten.  Take good care of it mom, Bev became so attached in just a few short days that it must be a wonderful friend for you now.

Dorothy Marie Winegardner on her wedding day.  

Tomorrow morning at 4:21 AM will be nine weeks since mom passed into God's loving arms.  Please dear Lord grant her the pain free rest she so earned here on earth and deserves so very much.  Grant her peace and contentment with knowing she was so loved by so many that she left behind.

Although it has been 9 weeks, I still have trouble not picking up the phone and calling her as I did most everyday for the last three years and weekly prior to that.  Not a day goes by that I do not think "Oh I need to remember to tell mom this or that." and of course, I cannot, however I hope she knows, as I believe she most certainly does. 

Funny it is, I very seldom think of my father however mom is still a most common  source in my life.  And yes I still try to talk with her daily and tell things however I really believe she already knows what I feel impelled to speak.  Miss you so much mom...Please beam a smile down me when you can...Love you so very much!

Mom grabbing some Good Luck at Rain Forest Café Downtown Disney

Mom on the Mariner of the Seas--Darlene's Wedding

Mom and Rick at her house in Omaha

Brother Larry and Mom on her 80th



The Chipmunks loved mom at Downtown Disney

Christmas 2011 @ Brookstone

Mom's last entry into her daily activities book...,

Annabelle had been born.  She was so happy ..., Richard called to tell her that,

Grandma was so proud that day.,

Yesterday, 9-1-2013 was one month since mom's passing.  I have gone to the phone several times in the past month to call and tell her something about the grandchildren or something we saw or did, only to stop and realize she will no longer be on the other end of the line.  So when I was thinking over my life with mom in it, I thought what were some of her favorite things in life.  Since it is Labor Day, the last summer holiday and mom was a worker like no other, I thought food!

Some of the favorite food items mom really enjoyed were [as I knew of her] :

An ice cold beer-- on a hot summer day!  Mom would work in her flower gardens and mowed the grass and would be drinking water or tea all day long, however when she was done and it was hot out, she like nothing better than an ice cold beer.  She usually did not drink a whole beer, but she sure enjoyed those first few sips to cool her throat.  When she lived in Grandview I would bring her the 7 ounce cans from Kansas of Coor's and she very much enjoyed these because she would say "These are just the right size for me!"

Corn Mush--   Some of you might say, “Corn Mush” what on earth is that?  Or as we knew it growing us “Mush”.  Italians call it “Polenta” and season it with various herbs.  Mom would always dip it in milk, then dredge it in flour and fry it in corn oil and serve it with her homemade maple syrup.  She always made her own syrup and nothing, for me today taste as good.  Mom would order mush if she saw it on a menu in a restaurant it always enjoyed it.  Probably more than her own, due to the fact someone else made it.

Fried Chicken—Mom’s fried chicken was the best, [after she learned to fry it—there is a story to this I will relay a little later] and she always served it with the best milk gravy and perfectly mashed potatoes.  Smooth, no lumps, and just the perfect consistency. Although mom’s was the best, she really enjoyed the Broasted Chicken we used to get in Raytown, MO.  We went at least once a month or maybe more.   Mom also enjoyed chicken livers and gizzards.  Guess that is where I get my taste for the delicacies.

Pickled Beets---mom would eat beets from the jar or can and really enjoyed homemade beets with little pieces of onions in them.  Whenever she would come to Florida, she would ask if we could go to the Colonial Café in Sanford and always ordered their beets which she claimed to be the best she ever tasted.  We actually took her some from the Colonial to Omaha for her to enjoy.

 

Another Colonial Café favorite of moms was [ ugh...] liver and onions.  She thought the Colonial did this dish right and so enjoyed it.  We had to eat this as dad liked it and whenever he wanted it we were also to enjoy it...luckily for me ketchup had been discovered by then because for me it took lots of ketchup.  Mom would order this if it was on the menu if she was hungry for meat.

Fried Cod at the Forum Cafeteria in downtown KC or when they moved into the Blue Ridge Mall.  Both unfortunately have closed however my memories of going to the Forum with mom will live with me forever.

While mom really enjoyed the fried cod at the Forum, her favorite was crappie.  She enjoyed fried crappie so much and the last time she was with us here in Florida our neighbor Bob brought us over a couple of pounds of freshly caught crappie for mom.  She so enjoyed them and told us of how she would always sneak a piece whenever she fried it for dad on Friday’s.

A good hamburger with a slice of fresh onion and pickle, mustard and ketchup.

Nothing was better for mom than a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich.  Especially with a slice of tomato fresh off the vine from the garden plant.  She  would wait every year for that first tomato and then fry bacon nice and crisp, slice the tomato and slather a piece of bread with Miracle Whip and put the bacon, lettuce and tomato together for her masterpiece. 

Mom especially enjoyed the chocolate malts from Big Boys when I was little, however when Zarda’s Dairy opened in Raytown she found their malts to be most enjoyable as well.  Another KC tradition gone.

Mom in later years enjoyed breakfast [at any time of the day] at Perkins.  In earlier years it was Waid’s for breakfast if you wanted really good breakfast food.  Mom like Perkin’s pancakes and especially how their chefs always seemed to know how to baste an egg to her satisfaction.  When we were there in March/April we took her to Perkins in Omaha and she so enjoyed having breakfast fixed to order and correctly. I remember her commenting to Bev and I:  “Boy we sure do not get eggs like this back at the home.” She ate every piece and I thought she might lick the plate.  Just kidding as I would with her.

A good strong cup of coffee.  And for all the years I can remember with whole milk, half and half or cream and sugar.  Actually she liked her coffee more like what I now know as Cuban coffee.  I remember in my childhood years the we always had cans of Milnot non-dairy creamer in the cabinet and refrigerator.  Mom always used it until they came out with Coffee-Mate and then she and Helen both switched to Coffee-mate.

Mom also like Chinina [Okay, I am not sure of the spelling] or also known as Blood Soup by the Polish or Croation populations.  Actually it was duck soup however in the old days they would capture of quart of the blood of the duck and once the duck was cooked and removed for deboning, the blood would be added slowly to the broth which also contained apples, raisins and prunes before them eat of the duck was returned.  Somewhere along the way vinegar and sugar would be combined and add to the mix to give the soup it sweet and sour taste that made it most definitely Chinina.  This was then served over wide egg noodles

Povitica—[Polish Walnut Bread]  While nobody and I mean nobody has ever made it as good as my grandmother [Clara Cernech] (and I have had it in the Chech Republic and Hungary and a couple other Eastern European countries) mom use to make a pretty dog gone good one.  I always looked forward to the post man delivering our Christmas loaf.  Mom always told me the story of how my grandparents would work together in the old days to pull the dough to be thin enough for grand mom and then they would work together to roll up the loaves and always did this in their dining room on the table with all of the leaves installed.  Mom did not go to that extent although she would roll and roll to get it thin enough for her standards.  She was so miffed when I told her that I used Pillsbury Hot Roll mix for mine and she thought it was every bit as tasty as hers.  Now that was a compliment I can assure you.  She would boil potatoes and use the starch water for her dough and sift the flour and on and on…  Hot Roll mix: ready to roll out in an hour and only 5 minutes to mix.  She could not believe it.

And since we are on Hot Roll mix, mom so enjoyed her own home made cinnamon rolls or at least watching them disappear whenever one of her families were around for morning buffets.

Well there are many other things mom enjoyed in the culinary world however I think this is enough for today.  I will add more as I think of them and with the Holiday’s only a few months away, I am certain to come up with more.