Today is one year and it is almost to the minute that the angels came to take mom home to her Lord and Savior. In mom's finally weeks and days she endured more trauma than anyone should have to on this earth, especially in what some call a civilized society. Life never was really fair to her however she always endured and made the best of what it threw at her. From very humble beginnings, to a good family being born to her, to a devastating divorce, to her finally years of suffering and restriction of living a normal life, Dorothy always tried to put a happy spin on things. She had her moments, just as we all do, however she always, yes always, thought of the other person. She had her opinions and very seldom voiced them. Life always seemed about someone else for her. She was always more concerned about what something meant or how something effected or if something did harm to everyone else and not her. It did not take a lot to make her happy. Seeing her family, talking with her brother, a piece of toast, a bowl of ice cream. She so enjoyed the simplest things in life and never forgot that at one time she literally had nothing. I do not believe she ever dreamed of having millions, enough to get by and maybe a little left to go visit her family was enough; she did not need Cadillac's or big luxury vehicles, a solid means of transportation was sufficient; She did not need fancy socialite champagne dining experiences, although she could fit in perfectly at any, a good fried chicken or pot roast dinner, or golden mush for breakfast was perfectly fitting with Dorothy. She loved life and despised the evil that was and is lurking in the world, she never doubted her love for her Lord and respected the church as much and more than probably anything else in her life. She never lost faith in believing that there is something better after time on this earth although there was numerous times that people and her church seemed to abandoned her. Dorothy always let the Lord workout situations and people in her life and she kept her faith in Mary the mother of Jesus who gave her inspiration that is not available here on earth. She always seemed truly touched or taken in with the consecration in Holy Mass. This was a most meaningful event in her life and when attending Mass became inaccessible, she fretted about not being able to experience the Lord through communion. It took a lot of convincing that although Mass is the open expression of the Lord's celebration, it is really and mainly a personal event that can take place where ever one is and does not have to happen in a church, a Cathedral or any building at all, as long as it happens in her heart and mind. I believe from witnessing Dorothy's final weeks and days, she truly understood that the Lord was right next to her all along and she talked with him probably constantly.
Today is one year and there has not been one day gone by that I have not at least once thought "oh I need to call mom to tell her about..." or thought "Wow mom would enjoy this..." or "wouldn't mom appreciate this..." or just thought how much I missed her smile, her bright eyes, her little voice in the morning saying "Good Morning..." I now truly understand what my children have known and been missing for the last 21 years. You truly cannot understand until you loose what you can never have, hold, hear or see again what your mother truly means. I understand the loss of my wife; that was undeniably difficult and presented a feeling of total isolation in my life. However when you have the love of someone and the respect and the understanding of that person for over 60 years, and they leave this world, there is a void that can never be filled. I am more fortunate than many to have the love of a very fine woman at my side and a strong family that appreciates what they have and what they have derived from their grandmother. These make it easier to cover that gap that exist without mom. I pray my children forgive me for not fully understanding this gap that existed in their lives however, I do not believe that anyone can fully appreciate that emptiness until they experience that feeling personally themselves. Then you do know what a void there is in a persons life without good ole mom.
To you, my good ole mom, I wish you rest and the happiness you so deserve, please give our love and thoughts to all you are with now. Miss you mom, love you mom...
