When I think of Mom’s life
When I think of Mom’s life one cannot
actually fully understand what all she experienced. When I look at the world we live in today and
the world she was born into in 1923…Wwwow.
When I think of some of the stories she told of her childhood days, I
really do not understand how she, Larry and Helen or Walter survived. I would put money that most in the
US today would not make it through what she and her siblings
did. We are so absolutely spoiled today…
we just would not survive. Mom told
stories of her and Larry and Helen all sleeping in the same bed during the
winter. Not just because that was their
only bed, however, to stay warm together as heat was at a minimum. She told me of how she loved a mustard
sandwich. Yes 2 pieces of bread with a
squirt of mustard in the middle. I do
not believe any of us can fathom going to bed with only having a “mustard”
sandwich. And she talked about how
excited her and Helen would get when their father, after a particularly good
week at work would bring home a chunk of bologna and they each would get a thin slice for
their mustard sandwich. From what I
could understand they did not complain or cry, they just understood and were
happy for the special moments, such as a slice of bologna to add to a mustard
sandwich. Mom would grow up having
something less than what any of us would consider a normal childhood. Her mother, Mable Voss Winegardner would die
of complications from surgery, thought to be the result of childbirth two years
earlier, at the tuberculosis hospital in Kansas City when mom was just 10 years
old. From there she and Helen and, I am
assuming, Larry, and I know Walter went to orphanage, bounced around from
various living arrangements with mom finally living with Tom and Elizabeth May
while in high school. She tell the story
of going by herself to the hospital to show her mother a new dress she had for
some occasion and that she traveled to the hospital alone. The location was considered quite a distance
from town as hospitals that treated certain diseases were not located close to
any populated areas. If memory serves me correctly, this was the last time she
saw her mother. I know that when Carol,
my late wife passed away, it brought back some unpleasant memories of her
childhood and her own mother passing.
She expressed to me on several occasions how helpless she felt and how
she wished she could have been more of a comfort for my children, especially
Loretta, as she felt a special kinship with Loretta due to the similarity of
ages at the times of their mother’s deaths.
Despite her childhood mom became a
lady’s lady. Prim and proper under
almost all circumstances. She had an appreciation for life and the things in
life that really can only be obtained by living through life’s situations and
becoming better because of those situations.
She earned everything she ever had and was always so appreciative of
having earn what she had. Maybe to the
extreme as she took impeccable care of everything to maintain things to the
best of possible conditions. She
literally lived with the theory "Cleanliness was next to
Godliness."
When I think back on my mother’s life
and her accomplishments, I believe that she is one of the smartest people I
have ever encountered.
Oh no, she did not have one of those
huge pieces of paper from a university, not that she would not have wanted
one. She just had a very hard
earned high school diploma. If fact, when you consider her childhood, the
disruption of her family, her mother’s passing, the state of the world at that
time, war, economic disaster, being moved from home to home, working for
literally pennies, and having to take care of herself during most of her high
school years. For her to even have
received her high school diploma is just truly amazing. She was always so proud of having it and she
did have some good memories from high school, as I found out in my adult life. Actually, a high school diploma in the late
30’s and early 40’s and into the 50’s was very similar to today’s college
degrees. A high school diploma back
then opened a lot of doors of opportunity to its holder just as a college
diploma does today.
Mom appreciated everything she would
ever acquire and her greatest possessions were not any item that could be
purchased or seen in a store. It was her
family, her three sons, and later their families and now their families,
families. Oh, yes there are situations
that would make that comment hard to understand, however, I know it to be
true. Mom’s happiest moments were just
being with her family and watching them laughing, talking and growing. It was the little things that made mom the
happiest. Fried Chicken, not Fillet
Mignon; fried catfish, not poached salmon; bacon and eggs, not eggs benedict; a
potluck dinner, not a black tie affair.
However, she knew how to handle herself at any affair, potluck or black
tie, she was a lady, not snobbish or false however a lady.
Despite being what most of us today
would call almost or totally destitute in her youth, mom and all of her
siblings grew up to be fine, contributing, respected, hard working decent
individuals who always held their heads high.
And they became educators as only their generation would attempt.
When I think of mom, I remember one of
the most educated individuals I have ever known and I have had the pleasure of
working with some very fine individuals and some highly “educated” or book
learned people. No mom was not a
degreed person or even had a highly booked learned intellect. As I said she just barely had a high school
diploma. No degreed shingle ever graced
the walls in her office or house.
However she was degreed with an education that a vast number of
scholared, booked learned or educated people would or will never be capable of
understanding or obtaining that knowledge.
It was her education that did not come from books or places of learning
that made mom so intelligent. Oh yes,
she might have had problems with technology or new advancements in our fast
paced world late in life. But she knew
the things about life that no school or book or computer will ever teach
you. It was her little sayings that
would stick with me. Ones such as: “He don’t even have the common sense to come
in out of the rain!” I know some people
today that this still applies to. Or,
“People who live in glass houses should not throw stones.” Or here’s one that most people in our country
really need to think about today, as I am not certain of their answer: “If everyone jumped off a bridge are you
going to?” It always seemed that mom had
a question or saying for whatever wrong I was doing or situation she wanted me
to understand her way of thinking. Oh
yes, I cannot forget, “I’ll give you something to cry about!” Glad I never used that with my children!
Mom
taught me things that are never taught in our schools today. Things our society feel infringes on our
rights and therefore do not need to be taught to our children. Our society is
wrong and mom was relentless in her determination that I understood right from
wrong and what proper behavior was, and as a child I spoke when I was spoken to
not because she wanted to stifle me nor my development however out of respect
for any adult that might be present. Mom
was also an excellent judge of character.
She knew almost immediately when I was in with the wrong crowd. One time much to my dismay, she forbade me
from running around with a boy who I claimed to be my friend. He came from a family a bit worse off than
ours and I just thought that mom thought they just were not of the social set
for the son of a doctor to run with. And
true to her suspicions before I graduated from High School this boy had been
arrested and would spend time behind bars.
No he did not become a bartended either.
She told me she did not like a girl I was dating after the first time
she met her. For a reason I will not
mention however a reason I could not believe at the time she picked up on. She highly recommended I not date this young
lady and sure enough this girl never finish high school due to becoming
pregnant. Not by me, thanks to my
mother. Mom also knew the good people
that came into my life. One girl I dated
in high school was a particular favorite of hers and mom knew that this girl
was a wonderful person and her family, mother, father and siblings, was where
her genuine quality came from. I believe
mom was as upset as myself when we broke up. Mom’s judgment of character always
amazed me. She could pick out someone
who was not sincere immediately. She was
always on the lookout for people that would or could do harm to her
family. And when someone would use one
of her family member wrongly it upset her terribly. She did not appreciate her sons being played
for pawns for someone else’s gain.
There is so much more to write and I will
continue this in the days and weeks to come.
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